Kharl Was Having a Splendid Day
by Chieira
Summary: Kharl is having a splendid day. No one else is. Hiei and Garfakcy get switched and Kurama and Kharl must find a way to get their respective short person back. Co-written with Ellabel. Slight BL, TWT.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Kharl Was Having a Splendid Day**  
Genre: **Crossover, YYH/Dragon Knights**  
Author: **Chieira and Ellabel**  
Pairings: **Slight Kurama/Hiei and Kharl/Garfakcy  
**Warnings: **Slight BL, idiocy, and _severe _TWT (Timeline, What Timeline?)

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Dragon Knights or Yu Yu Hakusho and are making no money from this story.

**A/N: **Yeah. We don't know where this came from. Don't ask.

Consider the Dragon Knights universe to be one of the many uncharted parts of the Makai. Yeah. Shut up.

* * *

Kharl was having a _splendid_ day. The experiment with those pomegranates had gone rather well, and the zombie dolphins, while not fulfilling his original vision of an immortal invasion task force, _had_ taken care of his bathtub's algae problem, so that was good, too. Garfakcy would be pleased.

Kharl liked it when Garfakcy was pleased.

For one thing, the human's high voice hurt his ears when he got angry. Sometimes Kharl thought he should have let the kid go through puberty before stopping the aging process. That train of thought always arrived at the station of Adult Garfakcy, though, a concept that scared even Kharl.

Kharl didn't like being scared.

Absently rubbing the hairs on the back of his neck, Kharl wandered out into the garden. Garfakcy didn't allow him to so much as water the plants anymore, but he could still enjoy the lovely flowers. The potted hippopotamus was his especial favorite. He smiled at it as he ambled by. In bygone days he would have patted it, but he still remembered the time it patted back. That had taken a bit of explaining.

Hiei, for the moment blissfully unaware of Kharl and his flowers, was annoyed. Bad things happened when Hiei was annoyed.

Koenma, that bratty, pathetic excuse for a demigod, thought he could give him orders. Granted, technically the order had been for Yusuke, the Fool, and Kurama, as well, but Hiei was no one's errand boy, group errand or not. He wouldn't have even bothered answering Koenma's summons at all if he hadn't been with Kurama at the time.

Apparently, Koenma had gotten reports about a human being kept in the Makai as a pet. Hiei was of the opinion that even bothering to worry about it was stupid; that kind of thing happened far too often. The human slave trade was flourishing in the demon world, and rescuing one human wasn't going to change that. But Koenma had taken special interest in the case.

Which was why Hiei was stumbling through this gods-forsaken garden, fighting off a plant that appeared intent upon eating his toes.

Well, sort of.

The reports on the exact whereabouts of the human had been vague, at best. Yusuke, Kurama, Kuwabara, and Hiei had split up, all eager to get the mission over with as quickly as possible.

Perhaps eager wasn't the right word. If someone didn't find that human soon, preferably before a certain tiny, apparently fireproof plant managed to make a meal of his toe, Hiei was going to kill something. A lot of somethings, actually. Kurama first. Because even if this wasn't his plant specifically, he was willing to bet that the redhead knew what it was and had his own arsenal of tiny, toe-devouring plants. And Hiei had to take his anger out on _someone, _after all. Koenma was second on his list. Then Kuwabara, just because. Then Yusuke, because if he had never defeated Hiei in the first place, Hiei would be ruling the Ningenkai instead of swiping ineffectually with his katana at a digit-hungry weed.

Hiei decided, while doing what looked like a strange, interpretive dance designed to keep his toes out of reach for consumption, that the situation was dire when Kuwabara was _third _on his kill list.

"OMNOMNOM," said the plant.

Hiei's eyebrow twitched.

On the other side of the garden, Kharl hummed happily as he watched the monster in the pond snatch another three-headed swan. He had never been particularly sure why Nadil had turned down his generous offer of an entire regiment of the fowl, but there was no accounting for the taste of some people.

Over the crunching of bones, Kharl heard a new sound. "Garfakcy?" he called. "Is that you? I knocked over that vat of fish eggs again and it seemed to mingle with those left-over sandwich crusts and now it's hissing and- Garfakcy?"

This was odd. Normally Garfakcy liked nothing better than cleaning up after Kharl. (Particularly when fish eggs were involved. Garfakcy took a savage pleasure in telling Kharl just what a space-wasting slob he was, and Kharl enjoyed observing the extent of Garfakcy's vocabulary. Theirs was a complicated relationship.) Yet here he was, practically handing the boy the mess of his life, and the boy was ignoring him in favor of raining profanity on a plant?

"Garfakcy?"

Garfakcy turned to face him, a snarl on his small face. There was something odd about him, Kharl noticed, something besides the disappearance of one of his feet into the shrubbery. He was momentarily distracted by fond contemplation of the plant. Rodney had been one of his better ideas. Rodney was also the reason Kharl wasn't allowed to water the garden anymore. Kharl was very fond of Rodney.

Garfakcy _hated_ Rodney.

Reminded again of Garfakcy, Kharl stared. What _was_ it? _Was he dirtier_? No. _Was he taller_? Nooo. _Was he covered in a tasty chocolate shell and dribbled in sprinkles? _No he realized:

"Garfakcy! I'm hungry! Get your foot out of Rodney and make me a sandwich!"

"Who the fuck are you and what is a Garfakcy?" The short boy struggled with the botanical life.

Kharl was confused. _That_ wasn't unusual, so he remained unfazed. He thought he might have finally hit on what _was_ unusual, though. "Garfakcy, what did you do with your hair? Was it Rodney? I don't remember putting electricity in her. Maybe it's a new breed of fairy! Oh my gosh, what will those fluttery maniacs come up with next!? A secret weapon? New rules for Dungeons and Dragons? A hamburger made entirely out of tofu!? A-"

Hiei considered moving this demon up to the top of his kill list, if only to _shut him up, _but he decided that attacking might not go so well while his foot was ankle-deep down the gullet of a plant-monster.

Plants should _not _have gullets, damnit.

Deciding that further contemplation would only result in more talking and further mutilation of his foot, Hiei lobbed his katana at the demon's head. If he'd been thinking clearly, he would have known that depriving himself of his weapon while trying to rescue his foot from certain digestion would not be a good course of action. However, as he _was _in the process of rescuing said foot from said digestion, clear thinking was nowhere nearby.

His katana hit the larger demon right between the eyes. Kharl blinked. It would take more than a midget-hurled piece of metal to damage him; he thought Garfakcy would have learned that by now. "Garfakcy? Seriously. I uh. I want a sandwich. Can you make me one now?"

The midget stared at him in disbelief.

"Also, Rodney, let go of Garfakcy. Go on now, there's a good girl."

With a happy purr, the plant relinquished the boy and slithered back to its rock. "Grrblrrrgg," it said to the rock. What the rock said, history has not recorded.

"Come on, Garfakcy." Kharl picked up the sword and handed it back, trying for a pat on the head with his other hand. Only hundreds of years of experience with half-feral adolescents kept him from drawing back a stump. "Garfakcy! What gives?" He thought for a moment. "Oh my, was it the fish eggs? I promise I'll keep them from spawning this time. Hey, hey come on! Garfakcy-y-y-y…" He trotted beside his boy, whose short but purposeful strides were taking them steadily away from the castle, the kitchen, and the peanut butter jar.

"Stop following me," Hiei snapped. He didn't care if the human _was _in the area. Frankly, he no longer cared if they ever found him, ever finished the mission, or ever got to leave the makai. He was rather fond of the makai, actually; as fond as he ever was of anything, anyway. And by fond, he meant he preferred it to the ningenkai. If Koenma didn't let them leave until they found the human, it would suit him just fine, he decided.

All that mattered, at the moment, was getting the hell away from that crazy demon. If he was strong enough that Hiei's katana had no effect on him, then he was an opponent who would not be taken down easily. Perhaps even an interesting opponent.

Too bad that he was batshit insane, and Hiei suffered from a terminal lack of patience. Besides, if he attacked a demon unprovoked – he considered himself very strongly provoked, but he'd learned over time that his definition and Koenma's very rarely matched up – and caused a stir, he'd never hear the end of it. So he was going back to the rendezvous point, mission be damned.

Hiei's facial expressions aside, Kharl was slightly less amused now. "Garfakcy," he said, more quietly, "I'm serious. Stop this and let's go home."

"Shut up."

"_Garfakcy._" Even at his angriest, the boy was never disrespectful to him. Until now, apparently. This would have to end. Kharl reached forward and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck. Ignoring the furious growls of protest, he lifted his Garfakcy a foot off the ground and hauled him back to the castle.

Oh. _Oh. _This was an oh-no-he-did-_not _moment if ever there was one. The bandages around Hiei's arm began smoking dangerously. He remembered, distantly, Kurama's smiling face as he had said, once, while preventing Kuwabara's imminent demise, "_When you get angry, Hiei, try counting to ten._"

Hiei made it as far as four before a large, black, fiery dragon began its rampage across the countryside.

Once the destruction seemed to have died down, Kharl paused. His burden was now limp in his arms. Shifting him to the other side, he ran his right hand over his own face. Bits of charred flesh and hair fell off. Odd. He breathed a healing spell. Once he had lips again, he returned his attention to Garfakcy. "My, my," he whispered. "When did you learn to do that? And do you realize you just annihilated the garden?"

There was no answer.

* * *

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Kharl Was Having a Splendid Day**  
Genre: **Crossover, YYH/Dragon Knights**  
Author: **Chieira and Ellabel**  
Pairings: **Slight Kurama/Hiei and Kharl/Garfakcy  
**Warnings: **Slight BL, idiocy, and _severe _TWT (Timeline, What Timeline?)

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Dragon Knights or Yu Yu Hakusho and are making no money from this story.

**A/N: **Short chapter, sorry. We wanted to get it out in time for Ellabel's birthday.

* * *

The real Garfakcy, for the moment blissfully unaware of his garden's destruction, was skulking on the edge of a rooftop in a nearby demon village. He smirked as his foot 'slipped,' sending a tile tumbling from the roof to strike a redhead making his way through the village.

Kurama, for his part, took the sudden attack on his head fairly well. He stumbled, grabbed onto the wall, and muttered, "Sorry, Mother, but we're all out of salmon." Later, when retelling The Adventures of Hiei, Kurama, and That Irritable Human and Kind of Sketchy Demon, he would say that he immediately leaped into action, brandishing his rose whip and searching for his attacker.

His eyes most definitely did not cross.

He did, however, quite possibly have a concussion. He carefully lifted his hand, feeling the tender, quickly forming knot at the top of his head and wincing, then glanced upward. His somewhat bleary gaze found a short, smirking person with strange hair, and he came to the only possible conclusion he could while in the possession of concussion-hampered youki senses.

"That was _not _funny, Hiei."

"That was _so_ funny, Hiei," the rooftop skulker said, mocking him. He spun around on one foot, making a really spectacular face at his slightly addled watcher. "Bye now, Hiei. Don't let the tiles hit you on the way out, Hiei." The child accompanied this pronouncement with an unfriendly laugh before flouncing away.

Or trying to flounce away.

Garfakcy hadn't reckoned on the smarmy-looking redhead being able to _reach_ him up on the roof. He cursed himself five ways from payday as an unnaturally clean (around these parts, anyway. Garfakcy himself _never_ found cleanliness to be unnatural) hand wrapped around his ankle and tugged. He slid down the wall to the ground amidst more breaking tiles and came face-to-face – or rather, face-to-waist – with the victim of his simple prank. He reached for his ashes to transport himself away, only to find the bag snatched from his fingers and dangled over his head.

"We are _not_ going to play this game, you… you... _fairy_," he snarled, refusing to jump for the bag held oh-so-temptingly in the air. "Give me my ashes back, _now_, and I may permit you to _live_."

Kurama wasn't surprised in the least to discover Hiei kept a bag of ashes tucked in his shirt. He wasn't going to ask whose ashes they were, though. He had no desire to end up in a bag of his own, however touching the thought. He was surprised, however, that Hiei had called him a fairy. If 'surprised' were synonymous with 'slightly murderous,' anyway. Hiei was very lucky that Kurama _knew _he wasn't familiar with human slang, and therefore would not be murdering him. Yet.

"I don't know what has gotten into you," he said levelly, keeping the bag carefully out of reach. "What are you even doing here? You were supposed to be searching the eastern sector. Don't tell me you're finished already." Hiei was fast, but not _that _fast.

That led Kurama's Youko mind in entirely different directions, however, and the brief pause gave him time to contemplate Hiei's appearance. Which was not, in fact, _Hiei's _appearance. He didn't think so, anyway. His head was still spinning unpleasantly.

"What did you do to your hair?"

Garfakcy's glare became, if possible, even more poisonous. "Why? Do you want tips, fruity man? If so, I'm sure there's a place in Draqueen that caters to fruits. Probably several places. You're on the wrong continent for that sort of thing, though. You want Dusis for that. You're on Arinas." He spelled the words out slowly as if Kurama were not quite sentient.

Kurama liked Hiei. He did. He _really _did. However, 'like,' for Kurama, generally translated to, 'you have yet to give me reason to wish your death,' or 'I respect you, and therefore do not wish your death at the moment,' or even, 'my status as a demon in hiding does not permit me to inflict painful torment upon you at this present time - I'll be speaking with you again later.' Kuwabara and Yusuke generally fell somewhere between the first two, with Hiei and Shiori usually reserved solely for the second.

Right now, Hiei was cruising right past the third, headed straight out of 'like' territory and into 'your entrails are about to become your extrails.'

Kurama considered that Hiei was a good friend. He contemplated the fact that surely his _good friend –_ he made sure to stress the words in his mind, just to remind himself – had simply hit his head, probably shortly before hitting Kurama's, which throbbed helpfully to remind him that the concussion was still there. Therefore, Hiei was certainly not in his right mind. So Kurama should _not _gut him with a blade of grass. Definitely not.

He would, however, restrain him. And probably gag him.

Most likely gag him. It was for his own well-being, after all.

"Sorry about this, Hiei. I'm sure you'll understand when you're thinking clearly again."

Vines sprung from the ground, showering passing villagers in clumps of dirt as they leaped at Hiei, curling around him.

Garfakcy had time for one brief, panicked thought- "_It's the goddamn fairies again-"_ before his own blood-curdling scream of rage choked him unconscious.

What. It could do that. Have _you_ ever pissed off a hundreds-year-old murderer bound for all eternity into a chubby, three-foot-tall body? Yeah, didn't think so. Know what else would have pissed him off? What was currently going on in Kharl's castle.

Having carried Hiei's motionless form up the front steps and into the entryway, Kharl glanced around for an appropriate place to deposit it. A stool caught his eye, haphazardly placed against a bookshelf for easy access. That is, Garfakcy hadn't placed it haphazardly. Kharl was pretty sure one of the killer shrimp had knocked it askew. Probably in the altercation with Mr. Death Die.

Staggering over to the stool, he had an idea. Something had obviously upset Garfakcy's delicate natural balance. Why not arrange things just the way Garfakcy liked them, so when he woke up, he'd be happy? He sat the boy on the stool and leaned him against the books. Glancing around, he spied Garfakcy's favorite paisley apron draped over the vacuum cleaner. He walked over to fetch it, smiling slightly. He'd bought Garfakcy many aprons over the years, but it was sweet how his servant clung to the very first one.

Gently he tied the apron around Hiei's waist, being careful not to knock him off the stool. He added a feather duster to one small clenched fist and smoothed the hair from the diminutive forehead. His fingers brushed something- a bandage of some sort. The poor human was always getting injured. Kharl could never convince the rebellious boy to wear his armor. He knew Garfakcy probably never would, but he still reminded him before every mission.

He eyed the overall setup before crossing one small leg over the other. _Now_ it looked like Garfakcy. Or it would once it woke up and told him he was useless, in a tone of voice that meant quite the opposite. Smiling to himself, he slid an entire shelf of books onto the floor. A potted plant might have been tipped over on the pile for good measure.

Garfakcy _loved_ cleaning things.

* * *

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Kharl Was Having a Splendid Day  
**Genre: **Crossover, YYH/Dragon Knights  
**Author: **Chieira and Ellabel  
**Pairings: **Slight Kurama/Hiei and Kharl/Garfakcy  
**Warnings: **Slight BL, idiocy, severe TWT (Timeline? What Timeline?), and inside jokes.

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Dragon Knights or Yu Yu Hakusho, and are making no money from this story.

**A/N: **That new warning isn't there for our health. We've begun unintentionally (sort of) filling this thing with inside jokes. If you don't understand something, uh. Sorry. THAT'S HOW WE ROLL. Extra points for spotting the inside jokes? Even more for managing to figure out where they come from. For instance, if you know why Kurama says, "Awesome! It's a party!" then you are SUPER COOL. Yeah.

* * *

The tree above Kurama's head gave an affronted creak. In response, Kurama granted its protruding roots a drunken pat from his spot at its base, but didn't allow the release of his tiny captive. He hadn't thought he'd ever have the opportunity to find out how trees felt about having trussed up midgets strung up from their branches – most of those he'd strung from tree branches in the past had been normal-sized – but if this particular specimen were any example, he'd have to go with, 'do not want.'

The redhead gave a moment's pause to contemplate the unusually random nature of his current thought processes, but as those very thought processes were the problem, the pause inevitably led to, 'Oh, that's a pretty flower.' He would have given up his contemplation, if he'd been able to remember what to give up on. As it was, he admired said pretty flower and made sure to harvest a few seeds for later use before glancing upward as a groan alerted him to his captive's painful reacquisition of consciousness. Being knocked out by one's own scream of rage apparently resulted in a painful reawakening.

Kurama made a mental note to keep that in mind the next time he decided to be overly dramatic, but as mental notes were not within his concussion-hindered capacity at the moment, he forgot it immediately after. He would curse himself to hell and back about a year and a half later for the lapse.

Above him, in the tree, Garfakcy wasn't waiting for a year and a half to begin cursing Kurama to hell and back. In fact, the cursing began approximately ten minutes before he was fully awake, and only increased in coherency as well as inventiveness once the human became aware of his undignified and quite dirty state.

Kurama, in his previous mental flights, had managed to tune out the increasingly louder protests from the tree. However, he recalled the presence of his companion when said companion commenced calling him a fairy. Kurama turned around to look up and face him. "Hiei," he growled, "stop calling me _fairy_."

"Stop calling me Hiei, and get me _down_ from here!" Garfakcy retorted.

"I'll let you down when I know you're better. You're annoying me at the moment."

Garfakcy let loose a stream of invectives that once more centered on Kurama's alleged background as a fairy.

"What's with all this fairy nonsense?" Kurama asked, irritated enough to ignore everything else Garfakcy said. "Why are you suddenly obsessed with them? They don't even exist, anyway. Wait, did someone confuse you with the tooth fairy again? No wonder you went off your rocker. Hiei, you don't have to sneak into children's bedrooms and leave money under their pillows. I promise. It's going to be all right. That whole misunderstanding was your own fault, anyway. You really shouldn't spend the majority of your time skulking around outside people's windows."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Garfakcy shook his head. "Never mind. What do you mean, fairies don't exist? They're everywhere! Growing trees, singing to the water, healing the sick, being _really fucking annoying_, kind of like _someone else I could mention_."

This subtle dig was lost on Kurama, who was stuck back on the fairies. "Hiei-"

But Garfakcy wasn't finished. "-stealing my shit-"

"They steal things? What kinds of things?" Kurama was suddenly interested. This sounded familiar. "Valuable things? Magical things?"

"Yes and yes," Garfakcy grumbled. "Important things."

"Where do they keep them?"

"I don't know, some stupid fairy lair. Their pants? Who knows?"

Kurama was intrigued. "There's a lair? Where they keep stolen goods? Where is it?"

"If you let me down," Garfakcy suggested, "I'll show you."

"Awesome! It's a party!" Kurama ordered his plants to release the boy. "Where are we going?" he excitedly asked as the boy dropped down and dusted himself off.

Garfakcy had no idea.

* * *

Meanwhile, not far away – but just distant enough to be of no use in stopping the impending disaster – Kuwabara abruptly lifted his head and said, "I have a bad feeling."

Yusuke flicked a cigarette to the ground and scuffed it out with his foot, obviously not showing the amount of distress Kuwabara felt his announcement deserved.

"Well?"

"Unless it's Keiko-related or Kurama and Hiei-related, I really don't care. This is the Makai," Yusuke pointed out. "The land of bad feelings and general heebie-jeebies. Now, if you can use that convenient power of yours to figure out where the _hell _Kurama and Hiei are and why they're _two hours late, _that'd be great."

Kuwabara managed to look decidedly put-upon. "It doesn't _work _like that. ...Stupid."

"It did with Yukina."

"I am not in _love _with Kurama and Hiei!"

Yusuke held up one finger, to which Kuwabara jumped defensively before realizing that this was a listing moment as opposed to a blowing someone's head off moment. "First of all, that's the best thing you've ever said." He held up another finger. "Second of all, _do it anyway_ so we can get the hell out of here!"

"First of all," Kuwabara mocked, looking disappointed when his finger-raising didn't have the same effect on Yusuke, "no! And second of all--" he paused, realizing that he didn't actually have a second of all, "--uh... shut up!"

A brief scuffle followed, after which both boys returned to their previous positions, only a little worse for wear.

"...So what do you think they're doing?"

"Prob'ly making out."

A series of horrified sounds followed. "Argh... Urameshi!"

* * *

On the other continent, a handsome man polished a glass, unaware of the anguish he was causing two of his customers. "And they say these two demons are the best thieves that have ever been seen, better even than Ekidonna!"

Twin growls interrupted him. He glanced up to see a young couple glaring at him. "What did you say...?" inquired the girl in a dangerous voice.

"I... that is, they um. They are... They are a team of th... they're demons?"

"Demons?" A lone, dark haired boy sitting at a far table suddenly perked up. They ignored him.

"The best thieves! Thatz, our honor as thieves is at stake!" The girl pounded her fist on the bar.

"Again!" Thatz replied, pounding his fist in reply. "Rath! Rune! Come on! We've got some demon ass to kick!"

"DEMONDEMONDEMON?" Rath bounced to their side. "LET'S GO."

"Rune's not here," Thatz realized. "Oh, well. Kitchel, you're a girl, you'll do. Let's go!"

THUD.

An oversized mallet had just morphed into their periph and taken Thatz out. Rath and Kitchel didn't notice, hell-bent as they were on eradicating the so-called best thieves in the world.

"I AM NOT A GIRL!" the third dragon knight cried angrily. "FOR THE LAST TIME. AND WE ARE _NOT_ GOING GALLIVANTING OFF TO FIND THESE DEMONS- WE ARE GOING _HOME_. RIGHT NOW. STOP WASTING TIME."

Rune was yelling at nothing. Kitchel and Rath had grabbed their unconscious friend and departed in search of demon thieves to remove from existence.

Suddenly deprived of people to yell at, Rune briefly stood and stared. Then- "HEY, YOU MORONS, YOU STILL HAVE NADIL'S HEAD!" He was gone after them.

Master finished polishing his glasses and put them away. Funny how this always seemed to happen.

* * *

**TBC**

Don't you just love Kurama's _extremely convenient concussion? _A work of literary genius, that. And by 'work of literary genius,' I mean 'the laziest possible way of getting him to act insane.' I'm still working on a reason why his super awesome demon powerz haven't healed it yet. Maybe the roof tile Garfakcy hit him with was a _magical artifact _that--

Okay, I'm just going to stop there. Anyway - feedback, gais. We wants it.


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